


Greed IF: Eternal Contract (Arc 4)

by Eto_Wilheim



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arc 4: Eternal Contract, Contracts, Gen, Greed if, No Spoilers (anime-only friendly), Pre-official GreedIF, Speculation, Suffering, Trials, probability of finishing this? tragically low
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29873589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eto_Wilheim/pseuds/Eto_Wilheim
Summary: Subaru dies a pitiful death after failing to save both the Sanctuary and mansion, and thereby loses his bet with Roswaal. Upon returning to a loop where Roswaal and Echidna influence Subaru's actions, how will the course of fate diverge from the version we all know?Essentially, this story theorizes about the time between Tappei Nagatsuki's Greed-IF and the moment he contracted with Echidna.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1: how could you believe in me, liar

**Author's Note:**

> Classic disclaimer!: I don’t own even a speck of Re:Zero. But I do love it, very much.

“It’s true, you’ve been really wretched and cowardly recently! You hide away and cry to yourself instead of facing your problems! But even those things, I accept that they’re part of you and I love those weaknesses of yours too.

“Emilia, you have to believe me! I love you, and so I believe-”

“Loving someone isn’t a reason for believing in them! How could I trust your words when- when you broke your promise!?” Emilia screamed suddenly, her voice cracking.

Those words were ripped straight from Emilia’s soul, full of confusion and despair. Subaru continued pleading with her, repeatedly naming his love, but nothing reached. ‘Why wasn’t she understanding?’, he thought desperately.

“I love everything about you, I love you, I swear! Emilia-tan!” Subaru tried to lighten the mood at the end with his normal nickname for Emilia, but it only served to infuriate her further.

Emilia’s figure trembled. Her hands balled into fists, then unballed, spasmodically alternating between clenching and uncontrollably shaking. “How could you make light of this situation right now!? I hate myself for being so useless already, but you have to belittle my struggles too?” Emilia shook her head madly, flinging her arm out to shoot a stake of ice at the ground before Subaru’s feet. She stiffened suddenly as she remembered her broken contract with Puck, another promise that had seemed so tenacious and full of strength for all the years she could remember… only to shatter in an instant. With that, doors slammed closed, severing all light, and Emilia buried her head in her hands to resume sobbing.

\--- 

The shouting match felt like a trance. The meanings of the words exchanged were recycled every so often, and as a result, there was no progress - in fact, it was probably unraveling their relationship thus far. 

Another declaration of his undying love and insistence of his utmost support. Another hoarse denial from Emilia. Eventually, both sides were speaking without thinking. A distant thought in Subaru’s mind joked that he and Emilia must’ve looked like lovers having a spat. 

Ironic. 

In truth, both his own words and Emilia’s had faded to a continuous buzzing in his ear, and he suspected Emilia, now drained of tears and the strength to be angry or even scared, was the same.

Three days passed. Winter swept into the Sanctuary, baring its ravenous fangs, masking the nearly imperceptible sound of footsteps lightly closing in. From a mansion eight hours dragon-carriage away, two screams echoed to join with horrible chorus of many others in the Sanctuary. And so it was that all human life had been devoured except for the two human statues in the witch’s graveyard.

Pathetically, for three whole days, Subaru remained silently prostrated with his forehead pressed against the graveyard’s cold stone before Emilia, who was curled up in a ball in the corner. Completely unmoving, completely silent (though you could hear some intangible clock ticking), until at last, Subaru’s life vanished.

  
\---  
  


“Now, what is this, Suuuuuuubaru-kun? I did not expect to see a contract of souls between the two of us, but this is veeeeeery good. Though your state is a disadvantage to me, your abilities will be more than enough to compensate.” So Roswaal said, a smile stretched flat and wide across his clown-like face. Across the darkened room, the recipient of the insane smile stood silently with a look of death. 

For any normal human, this goes without saying, but I’ll spell it out since Subaru Natsuki isn’t: in those days of groveling before Emilia, Subaru had thoroughly despaired over the imminent challenges, frantically pondered the possibilities…

And had finally given up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important detail: Subaru hasn't given up on saving both locations, because that contradicts everything he’s done since arriving in Lugunica, but he has stopped trying to figure it out alone. Even though Echidna and Roswaal have been manipulating him all this time, what choice is there but to follow others if you have lost your own sight of how to reach the future you desire? (gods, that sounds edgy)


	2. Chapter 2: momentous tea party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fourth visit to Echidna.

“Echidna, I won’t let you contract with that boy! It’s- not-- ” The girl struggled to move her body towards the Witch of Greed. With tears in her eyes and fists clenched, the girl realized she was unable to stop the irreversible contract from being formed. With her last breath, she screamed her feelings. “IT’S NOT RIGHT!”

As with Minerva, the other Witches of Sin had been frozen. Their souls, which had been preserved since death, were forced into a sudden state of stasis. The culprit sat at her table beneath the parasol, and was, for the first time in four hundred years, completely and truly alone. 

Calmly, Echidna sat there. Waiting for something- no, someone. Finally, her lips turned up into a coy smile. 

“The guest of this tea party has arrived.”

  
\---

“I see, Subaru Natsuki. Well, I am extraordinarily glad of our mutual partnership for the years to come.” Echidna said. In an instant, a searing flash of heat passed through his and Echidna’s hands and the contract was made. So quickly, it happened, that Subaru almost doubted anything tremendous had happened. It was ‘almost’, because Subaru felt an unmistakable connection comfortably (and heavily) settling between between them. 

Echidna wasn’t shuffling papers into a neat stack or wearing a suit, but Subaru thought she resembled a businesswoman. Her black eyes were uncannily locked onto Subaru’s own like she was searching through his mind for thoughts. Echidna’s childish speaking mannerisms and behavior had fallen away, leaving only her true feelings. And those feelings were the desire to  **know** everything in the world. To perform an exhaustive and thorough dissection of knowledge… This was the natural analysis Subaru’s wary mind gave. But his second consideration brought doubts. 

Despite Echidna’s habit of slipping in a reminder of her evil intents as a witch, hadn’t she also promised her help in attaining the best future? That she, even while deviously leaving out details about the contract at their last meeting, had never hidden her knowledge when asked for it? It was purely by Subaru’s instinct that he understood that Echidna had never lied to him, and by that reasoning, her oath to lend him the weapon of knowledge shouldn’t be a lie either. 

If he could gain an edge over the coming obstacles, that was all that really mattered. After failing nearly ten times, anything that could be sacrificed should be. Subaru’s own life was incomparably insignificant in perspective. Possibly just a speck blinking in and out of existence. It was laughably powerless. Perfectly unable to make any difference to the future without borrowing the power of others. 

“…” A stifling wave of blankness overtook Subaru’s mind. Rapidly blinking, he shrugged off his previous thoughts and returned to ruminating about the imminent dilemma.

This kind of sacrifice was perfectly natural. It was all for the survival and safety of Emilia, Ram, Rem, Petra, the Sanctuary, the mansion, the Arlam villagers-- Subaru’s train of thought screeched to a halt again. And then was engulfed by a mad burst of rage.

“Roswaal, that monster!” Subaru suddenly spat out loud, slamming a fist on Echidna’s table, sending a platter of tidily stacked cookies onto the floor.

Echidna merely ‘hmm’-ed in amusement at Subaru’s sudden motion, electing to scan over Subaru’s thoughts instead of removing the mess of shattered plates and crumbs on the ground. She calmly stood up, stepped over a few shards of china, and found a miraculously undestroyed tea set to pour a cup of tea. Wearing the flawless facade of an innocent maiden, she walked to Subaru’s side of the table and gently nudged the tea into Subaru’s hand. 

Gracefully sitting back down in her seat, Echidna poured another cup of tea and took a sip. 

“Why don’t you explain the situation to me? As partners in crime-” Echidna giggled at her joke before continuing, “-I mean, partners in your quest to save everyone and everything, it’s important that you keep me up to date on all the events which will occur in the Sanctuary and outside of it if I’m to give you relevant information. Currently, I’d suggest you focus on the problems at hand. But, if you wish to discuss Roswaal after, I will be here to listen to you then as well.”

Subaru frame was still stiff with anger, but the haze in his eyes had cleared marginally. He nodded slowly, choosing to follow Echidna’s advice. 

“The Sizeable Hare’s invasion and the attack on the mansion are the two obstacles ahead of me. Ah, that’s not right anymore- these are the obstacles before  _ us _ . In three days, Roswaal will cause mana-rich snow to fall, which will lure the Sizeable Hare to the Sanctuary.”

Echidna broke in and continued: “and the nature of the Hare will be the demise of everyone trapped here. Its insatiable hunger would leave no human alive.” 

Subaru shivered slightly. “Yeah, that’s right. From my conversation with Daphne, it looks like we’ll need to gather all the individual rabbits into one spot and then blast them to smithereens. Any idea how to do that, Echidna?”

Under Subaru’s intense stare, Echidna blushed a little. She placed her hand under her chin and tilted her head thoughtfully. “Daphne’s bunnies have always been incredibly difficult to deal with for most people. Your idea works perfectly in theory, but to carry it out would be an ordeal. Now, how to round up all the individuals-”

Subaru waved his hands wildly, signaling Echidna to stop. “Wait, backtracking to your first point. Most people? You’re saying that a few people would have no trouble killing the Sizeable Hare?”

“That’s correct,” Echidna said, easily, “though I doubt you could employ their help in your situation. They’re all either dead or imprisoned somewhere.” Echidna watched the brief hopefulness melt off of Subaru’s face. “I am talking about people from my age after all. It’s natural for them to be gone.”

“Regardless, can you tell me about their methods?” Subaru questioned, clearly desperate. “I know I don’t have fighting strength or divine protections, but it still might help to know.”

Echidna sighed. “Nearly all of us witches would have a means of killing the Sizeable Hare using our authorities. However, I won’t disclose the others’ powers. Yes, though I am an evil witch, I still have standards of respect to pay. Other than our group, Reid Astrea, the original Sword Saint, could have overwhelmed the Hare with his pure brute strength alone.

“I think you understand now that these methods of overpowering the Sizeable Hare are inaccessible to you, so let us consider alternative means.” Without even meaning to, Echidna had thoroughly depressed Subaru. Perhaps she noticed this or did not, but regardless, she continued planning.

“Firstly, we should consider how to gather the rabbits into one location. This is the easiest step, as the residents of the Sanctuary will be gathered into one location after the snow falls. Human and demi-human flesh are the natural lures for the Sizeable Hare, and because all life is concentrated into one location, they will undoubtedly head to the cathedral first. 

“From your expression, I see you dislike the idea of using the lives of others as bait, but I assure you that if you follow the plan without error, there is the possibility of having no casualties.” Echidna inserted this statement, observing the fire of indignance reawaking in Subaru’s eyes which seemed to convey that his very soul rejected the idea of sacrificing the lives of others to reach the future. The witch kept her neutral expression, but inwardly, she found the boy’s emotions to be highly intriguing. Being the cause of many deaths in her lifetime, Echidna felt indifferent about sacrificing a few more, yet to see an emotional reaction strongly oppose her standards… it was a delectable show to witness.

“The Sizeable Hare must then be gathered into a confined space. Since their primal instinct is to eat, they’d eat through any physical prison. Daphne would say that rope nets and wooden barricades are no match for hunger. Even if her powers as a witch failed her, she’d knaw her way through rope and charge at wooden obstacles until she got through. The rabbits she created share that sense of constant desperation and need for nourishment, so I’m sure it’s understandable to you how futile a physical barrier is.” This last sentence was directed at Subaru, whose brows were furrowed with fear and worry.

“If it can’t be contained by any physical container, then… can we use magic?” theorized Subaru.

“Correct! I commend your sharpness. Though a general property of all mabeasts is their ability to survive by consuming mana, there are forms of it are inviolable for them. This, of course, is no exception for the Sizeable Hare, which, other than having tremendous gluttony, is weaker than all other mabeasts in this world. 

“Should you decide to resolve to be “that person” for Beatrice and - so-called - “save” her by forming a contract with her, she would be more than capable of caging the rabbits. Afterwards, all that’s left is to eliminate all of the rabbits at once; whether with magic or by physical means, I shall leave to your discretion.” Echidna wrapped up her plan, simultaneously setting her empty tea cup down on its saucer. “It’s uncommon for you to be this quiet. Have I said something to offend you?”

“No, I’m just thinking,” replied Subaru. “By your reasoning, I’d have to return to the mansion first. If the Sanctuary can be saved with the process you outlined, do you also know how to prevent the mansion’s attack?”

Echidna tilted her head in thought once more and Subaru recalled how she’d made the same motion only a few minutes ago. He groaned loudly. “I’m embarrassed to be relying on you so much when we’ve only just contracted, Echidna. Sorry.”

Echidna smiled. “This is nothing. Our agreement was to make use of each other however needed. Since you are in trouble presently, it is natural for me to lend my knowledge in assistance.

“Now, about the mansion attack. I conclude that it would be most helpful to gather allies to improve your combat power. The demi-human siblings Frederica and Garfiel should be enough to hold the assassin and from your experiences, as long as you can capture the mabeast user, there’s a chance she’ll drop her assault. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough information to accurately predict her actions currently.”

Echidna suddenly addressed Subaru directly. “As I have stated before, there will be sacrifice and trial-and-error involved. Don’t expect that I’m able to solve all your problems. Though I can talk to you and give advice, there is little I can do to resolve the dilemmas you face. Facing the Sizeable Hare and Roswaal’s subordinates, persuading your enemies to join you as allies, protecting your loved ones - these are all things I have no control over. I can only watch over your progress. The future is in your hands alone. ”

Subaru stared in surprise and confusion at the sincerity and solemnity of Echidna’s words. “Hey, hey, what brought all this on? So foreboding-” he joked, but Echidna’s eyes were hidden in the shadow of her white bangs. Subaru was beginning to feel unsettled and was reaching his hand towards her shoulder to confirm her health when Echidna’s normal, cheerful expression abruptly resurfaced. “Making me say such sentimental and emotional things, I may really have fallen for you, Subaru Natsuki.”

The normal Echidna was back. She handed a black crystal attached to a thin string across the table to Subaru. “I’m sorry if I seemed unfocused just now. I was crafting a communication device for the two of us.”

Subaru inspected the crystal carefully. Strangely, the black surface reflected sharp pricks of light, yet had an opaque darkness to it. Overall, Subaru found the crystal very perplexing. It didn’t feel like something that belonged in the world and almost seemed… alive. “I-it’s pulsing?! How come this thing has a heartbeat?” He turned to Echidna, demanding an explanation. 

“As you’d expect, the item you’re holding is a magic crystal. I took the liberty of slicing a sliver of your soul and my own and imbued the crystal with them. It will essentially link our consciousnesses even when you aren’t in my mental space. This way, if you need extra advice at any time, I can immediately give it. Quite practical, wouldn’t you say?” Echidna nodded, approving her own logic. 

“Now then. With the important details out of the way, would you still like to vent your frustrations about Roswaal? I’m willing to listen.” Subaru noticed the forceful change in topic. Though there was most likely something to be gained by enquiring further about the pendant, he had too much frustration towards Roswaal to ignore. 

Breathing in deeply, Subaru chose to explain as calmly as he could. “None of the plans you just outlined would be necessary if Roswaal cancelled the attacks. If his objective was to force me to follow his orders, he’s achieved his purpose! There’s no reason left for him to hurt the people in the Sanctuary and mansion. It’s totally meaningless! AND YET.

“What does he mean ‘you haven’t changed enough?’!? Changed enough? Changed into a monster, like him?” Subaru’s form writhed, expressing his loathing and revulsion for Roswaal. 

Caustically, Subaru mocked Roswaal’s words: “‘Your eyes show that you haven’t given up on saving everyone yet, and that’s no good.’ hahaHAhaHA! What a freaking bastard. 

HaHAHAHahaHA hah AHAha HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA aHAHAahaha--” 

Hysteria seeped into Subaru’s voice as he continued laughing. Echidna silently looked on, and remarked to herself how much he looked like a madman. Well, it was too late to say anything now. After all…

Subaru’s insane laughter was cut short by a wave of drowsiness. He staggered forwards and crashed into the table, sending the newly conjured tea and cookies onto the grass again.

“It looks like time’s up for this tea party. Until next time, Subaru Natsuki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about the Ousagi (literally meaning “Great Rabbit”): hares and bunnies are different! Rabbit is the right term for the small devils that appear in Re:Zero, but the English translation says sizeable hare, so Sizeable Hare it is! *sigh*
> 
> A technical detail: the mansion attack and snowfall occur concurrently, but since both are controlled by Roswaal, they could happen today, tomorrow, in a week… whatever pressures Subaru the most. Therefore, I went with three days. That's right, for no reason.
> 
> A complaint?: Echidna’s hard to write cause I’m *currently* an anime-only and there’s so much mystery about her. Also, reminder that Echidna remembers all of Subaru’s loops… and has read his entire memory. She knows about RBD, Subaru’s death by rabbits… playing innocent with distributing your knowledge are we?


	3. Chapter 3: Garfiel

Upon waking, Subaru discovered that the black crystal Echidna had given him was still with him, innocuously hanging around his neck. He lifted his body off the ground and began groping through the darkness, moving towards the graveyard’s exit. 

Reviewing Echidna’s plan, Subaru muttered to himself: “no wonder I couldn’t get anywhere. If it takes a plan of this scale to beat Roswaal’s attacks, of course the half-finished mess Otto and I were following couldn’t succeed.

“Anyways, first step is to convince Garfiel to help at the mansion. Garfiel doesn’t exactly hate me this loop, but it’s not like he trusts me either. In terms of reasons for him to leave the Sanctuary, ‘protecting Frederica’ is a good one. Except, for whatever reason, Garfiel’s extremely against freeing the Sanctuary. Yeah, like last time I suggested it, he threw me into prison.” Subaru chuckled sardonically. 

“I guess dragging Garfiel out of the Sanctuary’s going to be the biggest problem- oh crap!” Subaru made a late realization. “Garfiel’s a demi-human. He can’t leave the Sanctuary’s barrier.” Subaru stopped walking and placed his forehead on the graveyard’s stone wall, thinking hard. 

“That means the trials have to be passed first. I can’t ask Emilia to go through that suffering again, not with what happened to her last time. I’m just not reliable to trust in that situation, am I? Hah. I can’t believe I broke my promise just to write some words of encouragement on a wall. How could I let both of us die in such a pathetic way?...” 

His voice trailed off. If Emilia couldn’t face the first trial, and Garfiel was mysteriously unable to, then it had to be  _ him _ that freed the Sanctuary. Ignoring the dreaded trauma of his second trial, Subaru grasped the crystal hanging around his neck. “Uh, Echidna? I don’t know how this thing functions, but can you hear me?”

To his surprise, Echidna’s voice immediately responded, sounding as if it was right next to his ear. “Sure I can. Do you need something?”

“By any chance, did you restore my qualifications for taking the trial during the last tea party? It looks like I’m going to have to take them again,” said Subaru. 

“I did.” Echidna cooly replied.

Without even asking for it, Echidna had realized Subaru’s needs. “Seriously?! Thanks a lot. It’s like you have the power of foresight or something.”

“Kind of you to say,” Echidna said, politely, before severing the connection.

“What’chu doin, standing at the gate of that stinkin graveyard, talkin to the air? Like your communicating to that freak of a witch. Zat’s a zerfindyl’s boatload of shady business, if I ain’t see’in wrong.” A new voice called out Subaru for his suspicious actions. It belonged, of course, to Garfiel Tinsel, who was tensed up, looking like a feral cat - without the hissing - and warily tracking every step Subaru took forwards.

Subaru internally swore. He wasn’t ready to deal with an aggressive Garfiel right now, but Subaru also needed Garfiel’s help more than anything. To that end, it was integral that he appear trustworthy to Garfiel, and the recent exchange with Echidna had neatly demolished any hope of that.

Garfiel took Subaru’s silence as an admission of guilt and gained some courage. “You and Roswaal, what’re ya plotting? Yer gonna do somethin to this place, aren’t-cha?! No words? Guilty conscience hah-”

“Fine fine! I’ll tell you what I’m trying to do!” Subaru finally interrupted Garfiel’s ramble, trying to prevent further damages to his reputation. “Truth is, I need your help.”

Garfiel stopped, scowling at Subaru’s confusing words. “What’s that s’pposed to mean? I ain’t getting involved in your plots.”

Subaru sighed. “Otto’s case was a miracle, but I’ve got no time for lengthy explanations now. Please-- just try believe me, no, just listen as I talk. Whether you believe me or not is up to you.

“There’s going to be an attack on the Roswaal mansion in three- no, two days, just to be safe. Your sister, Frederica, works there as a maid and she’s one of two targets. One of the two attackers is a woman who has particularly high close combat power. 

“As you can tell, I can’t fend off Elsa - that’s her name - on my own and since you’re also strong in melee fights… I was hoping you’d help save the mansion. Considering your family is endangered.” Subaru blurted out everything as quickly as possible without realizing that Garfiel was still preoccupied with the first line. 

As with the White Whale hunt, people who didn’t have the same memories as Subaru were naturally unbelieving of his information. For Garfiel in particular, Subaru’s rant had in fact cemented him as an enemy. “How the hell d’ya know all that information ‘bout an enemy’s attack plans? Roswaal tell you? All I know is you two devils might’a schemed that pretty stuff together to get me outta the Sanctuary. I won’t let you or Roswaal, not anyone leave here!”

There was a sudden disconnect in topic of conversation. Brow furrowed, Subaru questioned, “the Sanctuary? I’m talking about the mansion, you know that right? How did you draw that conclusion-”

Garfiel interrupted. “Ya, sure. Say that all ya want. My ‘mazing self knew ya were suspicious from the start, traipsin’ in here and disturbin’ the order of this place. I won’t believe a single word outta your mouth anyhow.” 

Again. It was happening again. Subaru realized he wasn’t being taken seriously by Garfiel here, just as Emilia hadn’t considered Subaru’s word the truth. Before a response could escape his mouth, Garfiel rushed up the graveyard’s stairs, pouncing on Subaru and slamming his head onto the stone steps. Through the ringing noise and metallic taste of his own blood, Subaru heard Garfiel threatening him and demanding the “damn truth.”

In a final surge of survival instinct, Subaru’s weak fists aimed for Garfiel’s arm that was pinning him down, and though they never reached, he kept trying. Breathing loudly, he was getting exhausted already, and-- was he crying?! 

To bawl his eyes out now was akin to pleading for his life as a last resort, and it was ugly and cowardly. In consolation, Subaru mumbled to himself, “the setup for this loop was terrible anyways. Next time, I’ll… 

“think about how… 

“use the plan properly… 

“save her... 

  
  


“…”

Garfiel’s eyes, seeing Subaru’s consciousness fading away, suddenly widened with terror. He backed away, scanning the entire clearing for help and finding none. The dark curtains of night withdrew for morning. Conversely, shutters flew downwards and the mind of the 14 year old demi-human was dyed in shadow, because there was a man dying right in front of him. There was a man dying because of his own strength and he didn’t want him to die.

Garfiel didn’t want to kill anyone. 

Didn’t want to, and so didn’t have to. That option, of becoming a mindless beast was his only choice--

\---

“Ghghk.” Subaru spat out the dirt in his mouth and quickly set up. He reached for Emilia and gathered her in his arms. “Emilia, wake up. It’s alright.” 

Emilia’s eyes opened, still guilt ridden and traumatized from the trial’s illusion. Subaru took her hand in his own and squeezed it reassuringly. “The nightmare’s over now. It’s all okay, you’re okay. I’m here with you.”

After Emilia calmed down, the two walked out of the graveyard. Ram and Garfiel were waiting outside, as normal, but looking at their expressions, Subaru’s heart sunk. “Hey Garfiel, can I ask why you’re glaring at me like that?”

Garfiel gave no reply and moved into an aggressive arm-crossed position. 

“So it’s like that….” Subaru said wearily to the air. This was another timeline where Garfiel and Subaru weren’t even on speaking terms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever Subaru RBDs in this fic or any other, do you guys hear the uuEueeewhuUEe effect? Cause hearing high-pitched demonic chants on a constant basis is becoming somewhat disturbing to me.


	4. Chapter 4: devil's meeting

“Hey, Emilia-tan. How’re you doing now?” Subaru stepped into Emilia’s temporary bedroom and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, bare feet hovering over the floorboards. Her eyes were dull, as if she was seeing a faraway place instead of the room before her. 

Snapping out of her thoughts, Emilia’s head gently bobbed up and down in affirmation. “Mmhmm, I think I’m alright. The trial just… shook me,” Emilia said, in a quiet, but mostly normal voice. ‘Mostly’, because Subaru noticed the slight tremor -barely detectable- in her voice which indicated that Emilia was putting on a brave face and was still internally scared. Her right hand slowly moved to clasp the green crystal that housed Puck and Subaru had gone through enough loops to know that Emilia’s mind had drifted back to wondering where Puck had vanished to and why he wasn’t responding at all. 

For all of Emilia’s current memory, Puck had stayed by her side in a world that seemed hellbent on hating and discriminating against her. Now, when she was facing a past she didn’t remember, it was natural that she turned to that constant source of caring in her life. Subaru felt slightly dejected, being reminded that he couldn’t be Emilia’s strength or reason for feeling secure, but he shook the thoughts out of his head. There was no time for wallowing in regret or else this timeline… wouldn’t be the last either. 

Subaru involuntarily shivered at this thought, because it was a fear that perpetually lingered in his mind, usually ignored or outshone by thoughts about peeling apples or hanging laundry, something mundane. No time to be wallowing in regret, right. 

“Hey, hey. There’s nothing wrong with being disoriented by the past.” Subaru tried to reassure her. “You- you can tell me about your past, if you want to, that is. I know I can’t help you face your past, but I can share in your feelings at least-” but Emilia shook her head, though she was smiling now.

“Sorry, Subaru. I don’t feel up to that, so I think I’ll just sleep. That way, I might… be able to take the trial again tomorrow.” Emilia began crawling into the blankets. Sensing an end to the conversation, Subaru murmured a “good night” and turned away, starting towards the door, when Echidna suddenly spoke. “What a hypocrite, bending to kindness like that.” 

Subaru hissed, biting his tongue to prevent his instinctive retort from escaping his mouth and disturbing Emilia. Instead, he clenched the doorknob. However, Emilia still spoke to the departing Subaru. “Um, Subaru?”

He winced, assuming she’d heard his noise. “A-ah. Yeah? What do you need? Ask for anything.”

“Could I ask you for a favor? Promise me you won’t judge me for this?” Emilia tentatively asked. Subaru nodded. Emilia’s eyes flickered to the side. “Then... if you don’t mind, just for tonight, could you hold my-”

“Barusu.” Emilia and Subaru both startled, turning to the sound. Ram stood in the shadowy hallway, peering into Emilia’s room. Her poker face revealed nothing about how long she’d been listening to their conversation. “Roswaal-sama is requesting a meeting with you right now. Let us go at once.”

Subaru looked back towards Emilia, but she kept her gaze averted, seeming slightly embarrassed for asking Subaru to keep company for the night. “Nevermind. I’ll be fine, so you can go talk to Roswaal, Subaru.” His mood soured, now that the meeting with Roswaal was unavoidable. 

Though Roswaal wasn’t repeating time like Subaru, he would undoubtedly be caught up on Subaru’s actions, and perhaps even had an increased awareness of the situation because Subaru was contracted with Echidna now. 

Echidna, who was always observing Subaru’s actions and environment. Echidna, who wrote the details in the prophetic Tome of Wisdom that Roswaal constantly carried on his body. 

It clicked, then, that Echidna’s detailed predictions of the future were what Roswaal always sought to make reality. They determined - as Roswaal had claimed - every single action that he made. 

Subaru suddenly felt and overwhelming need to speak with Echidna. If she was editing the Tome based off of her observations of Subaru as he repeated time, then it was also possible for her to implant incorrect information or even erase the writing entirely, and that would be a tremendous advantage. Though it was a stretch, Subaru allowed himself to momentarily revel in the delusion that Roswaal would surrender and back off if the Tome of Wisdom stopped showing the future.

Unfortunately, Subaru wasn’t alone at the moment and speaking out loud, to none other than a witch, would instantly damn Subaru in any spectator’s opinion and make him look like an insane lunatic. Wisely, he kept silent, shelving that discussion for another time.

Subaru and Ram walked silently through hallways in the darkness, slivers of light from rooms occasionally rippling across their skins. Finally, the two stopped before a door. As Ram raised her hand to knock on the door, Subaru summoned a burst of courage, pushing the door open with a loud bang and stomping into Roswaal’s room, ignoring Ram’s scandalized glare. 

Roswaal’s voice called out. “Good evening, Suuuuuubaru-kun.” Though Subaru gave no reply, Roswaal was unperturbed. “Ram, if you would.”

“Yes, Roswaal-sama,” Ram said, bowing respectfully. Then, she closed the door, leaving Subaru and Roswaal alone.

“My, my, you’ve been busy Suuuuuubaru-kun. I can detect two contracts more than when we last met. One with me, and one with…  _ Echidna _ .” Roswaal’s voice softened as he said Echidna’s name. “My mentor whom I haven’t seen in 400 years…” he whispered, more to himself than Subaru.

Subaru felt disoriented by the abnormal quietness Roswaal was showing, but it quickly vanished as Roswaal regained his mocking speech pattern. “How mysteeeeeerious. You must be contracted with me because you lost some sort of competition in your previous time, but to be with Echidna as well? 

“I see. Even though you’ve been restrained by an oath to me, you managed to grab ahold of Echidna’s incredible thinking power and knowledge for your own purposes. And with that sort of tool in your possession, you cleeeeeearly display that you still haven’t-”

“Given up?” Subaru sharply interrupted, trying to keep his voice level. “Roswaal, I can easily predict that the conversation we’re about to have is one I’ve been through before -more than once-, so skip this useless dialogue and get to the point.”

“Nooooo, no. This is the point, Subaru Natsuki. Why, even after witnessing your failures in the past, do you still refuse to give up? It is pure arrogance to believe that a mere  _ boy _ can save everything at once. 

“How many times have you lost every single person you wished to save? Instead of extending your two hands to keep a few from the reaper of death, again and again you greedily reach for too many people and let their lives all slip through your fingers. There was a possibility that some that you cared for reached the future, but you confirmed their demise alongside the rest. 

“That is why, Subaru-kun, if you desire to leave this time and meet the future, you must choose the half that you more desperately want to save.”

Subaru listened, and recognized the truth in Roswaal’s words. In every single one of the past timelines, neither the Sanctuary nor the mansion had escaped tragedy. Yet, he wasn’t swayed in his convictions at all. If Roswaal was expecting a long silence followed by infantile wailing, he had guessed incorrectly, because Subaru’s response came directly off the end of Roswaal’s speech. 

“You’re right that I’ve let everyone die too many times. If Emilia (or Rem), Beatrice, Otto, Petra, Ram- if any one of them made it to the future, I’d be thrilled and relieved. And exactly for that reason, I will never stop trying to save everyone. Because they’re all people who deserve to live in the future. 

“Because, imagine how elated I’d be if not just one, but all of them made it to the future? I’d explode with happiness!” 

Subaru laughed in Roswaal’s room, for the first time over all his loops, and it was due to his own irrational reasonings. Nevertheless, they made perfect sense to himself and brought a warm feeling of courage into his chest.

Roswaal’s eyes flashed a dangerous red and his voice lost all lightness, turning into a low rumble. “Stop this absurdity. Those prideful, selfish notions of yours will play no part in my plans. I cannot achieve my wish while you remain like this. While it disgusts me to relinquish my ambition because of this, it is necessary I permanently deprive you of your hope for the next me.

“This meeting is over. I assure you, Subaru Natsuki, you will have no time to rest in the coming days. A storm is coming, and you won’t have the ability to stop it.”

\---

As Subaru stepped out of the house and closed the door, he breathed out loudly. Despite his confident showing in front of Roswaal, he’d still felt an incredible pressure. “That guy never changes his words, does he? It’s always the same jabs at ‘saving people’ and ‘giving up’. One day, I think I’ll be completely immune to his insults…” 

“What are you muttering to yourself about, Barusu?” Ram said, leaning against a tree. Though she was shorter than Subaru, it still felt like he was being looked down upon. 

“Nothing much, just some boring chitchat with Roswaal.” Subaru said, grinning at Ram’s disapproval of his undisguised lack of respect. 

Turning serious, he then asked, “could you help me with something, Ram?”

The corners of Ram’s frown pulled further downwards. “If it’s about the plans you and Roswaal were arguing over, I will take no part. Frankly, it would be hopeless. A complete waste of time.”

Subaru prepared to feign hurt at Ram’s statements, but she wasn’t finished. For once, Ram said exactly what she believed without hiding the meaning of her words. “It’s clear you’ve lost your way. If you’re following Roswaal-sama’s plans, that is fine, but let it be the end. Those who choose to follow another’s decisions will cease to have good ideas, so the actions they take are hopeless. Therefore, Ram wants nothing to do with you. If it’s confirmed that we’re walking into hell, I will stick with Roswaal-sama.”

Subaru’s expression darkened. He wasn’t sure what Ram was trying to say about him, but from the long insult she’d paid, it was obvious that she wouldn’t be helping him. 

Then, Ram spoke again, but not to Subaru. “Stop hiding in the bushes. If you have something annoying to say, then say it.”

The eavesdropper awkwardly poked his head out of the bushes. Subaru, who hadn’t noticed Otto’s presence, jumped in surprise. Slowly stepping out of the bush, Otto brushed the leaves off and guiltily looked at Ram and Subaru. After a moment, he schooled his expression to be more solemn and addressed Ram. “Um, I don’t believe it’s appropriate to say those mean things about Natsuki-san.”

“Coming from a guy who was illegally listening in on our totally important conversation, that’s not really convincing,” Subaru interjected, making Otto splutter with embarrassment.

Ram ignored Subaru and stared down Otto with her neutral, emotionless face, but he didn’t avert his gaze or rescind his assertion. Nodding in approval, Ram took an active approach at tearing down Otto’s words. “That man there has no plan of attack for whatever events are about to occur. Would you place your trust and hopes in him?”

“Natsuki-san is a good man. His intentions are forthright and unswerving.” Otto replied without hesitation, but Ram wasn’t satisfied. “You avoided my question, so let me rephrase it: could you follow a person whose plans are a confused mess of his own ideals and someone else’s orders?”

The intensity of Ram’s stare had heightened, pinning down Otto and seemingly sealing his mouth closed. For this question, Otto needed a much longer time to consider, and remembering the warning Roswaal had given, Subaru stole away from Ram and Otto’s deadlock to find Garfiel. 


End file.
